The Secrets that We Keep
by tensmcmchica
Summary: The closets of Seattle Grace have a lot of baggage in them. Isobel Stevens and Mark Sloan are both carrying around secrets. Little by little they discover what they are hiding from each other and everyone at Seattle Grace...MarkIzzie
1. Chapter 1

_NOTE:_ This is my first GA fanfic...It's MarkIzzie, which I know is not happening in the show, but in the world of fandom it lives on. I just wanted to make a disclaimer. I do not own Grey' s Anatomy, nor the characters of Mark & Izzie...They are all the creation of Shonda Rhimes & the honchos ABC. Let me know if I should continue...thanks._  
_

* * *

_Sometimes secrets can remain hidden, but for the most part they always find a way out of the shadows. The fear of opening the closet, loads of baggage falling at your feet is a common problem for most people. It's no different here at Seattle Grace._

* * *

Izzie was running away from her past. Trying to find a safe place in a hospital where no secret could hide. Gasping for air, she slammed the door of behind her. Closing her eyes and sliding down the length of the door, Izzie prayed that she would never be found.

Hannah was sick. Izzie's _daughter_ was dying. Her daughter, the baby she gave up and expected never to see again. The more she thought about it, the harder it became to breath. The walls were closing in….._I really need a paper bag_, she thought, worried about the possibility of hyperventilating.

In her moment of panic, Izzie heard a shuffling of sheets. She slapped her hands across her mouth in an attempt to quell the noise. She pulled herself off the floor and began to open the door, hoping she could escape unseen. Despite her attempt to sneak out, the door creaked as it opened. _Couldn't Seattle Grace afford a little WD-40?_, Izzie whispered to herself in irritation.

"Stevens?"

A red and puffy-eyed Izzie turned and stood awkwardly in front of the door. Words could barely escape her lips.

She nodded her head in recognition, "Dr. Sloan. Sorry that I disturbed you. I am gonna be going now."

Izzie quickly turned towards the door, but before she even had her hand on the door knob, Mark spoke up.

"Stevens, don't bother. It would be hard to fall back asleep. Besides I have some paperwork that I have to give to Grey."

Izzie looked up from the spot she had been staring at while he was talking. Mark stepped down from the top bunk and Izzie realized that he was only wearing scrub bottoms. As she stared at the origin of the title "Mcsteamy", Izzie couldn't hide her desire to run out of the room. Her plan to avoid people, which in turn would be avoiding her secret, was failing miserably. Sloan looked at Izzie and then immediately to her feet.

He cleared his throat, "Um, Dr. Stevens, do you think you can throw my shirt over here?"

Izzie looked down hesitantly at the floor, "Uh….sure."

She grabbed at the floor and held Sloan's shirt in her hands. Izzie did not throw it across the room. She was sure that it would only make it half way, an incident that would guarantee some form of harassment from Sloan. Instead, she walked forward and handed it to him. In the slight glimpse of light from the doorway, Mark saw the redness of Izzie's eyes. It looked like she had been crying. It didn't help that there was a sense of sadness written all over her face. Uncomfortable with the possibility of having an emotional moment with the intern, Mark quickly grabbed his shirt. Izzie backed away hesitantly.

"Well…I'm going to go find Dr. Bailey. Once again, I am really sorry for waking you."

Izzie turned and hustled towards the doorway.

"Stevens."

"Yes, Dr. Sloan"

"Whatever it is, I am sure it is going to turn out just fine."

Turning back around for the last time, Izzie once again faced Mark. Their eyes met in agreement and Izzie swore that she saw a wry smile form on Sloan's lips.

"Thanks"

Sloan watched the blonde walk into the hospital corridor. It was clear that Izzie was hiding something from everyone, a secret she did not want to reveal. Maybe Isobel Stevens wasn't all she appeared. But then again, everyone has their secrets they want to keep hidden. Mark Sloan knew this all too well.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, nor am I affiliated with ABC. All the credit goes to Shonda Rhimes and the honchos at ABC.

Note: Here is my second chapter...I don't really know if anyone is reading it, but if you are will you please let me know. I will even try and respond, if people leave me critiques or reviews. thanks. ps: was Mark not smoking on last night's ep. every episode I fall in love with him a little bit more.

* * *

As she stood with her fellow interns awaiting assignments, Izzie stared off into space. George had the day off, so she did not really have a reason to talk to anyone. Alex was preoccupied with Ava's chart. And Christina and Meredith….well they were being Christina and Meredith.

"Christina, no way. It's Derek and Meredith night at the trailer. I'm trying to be a better girlfriend."

"Is McDreamy having a wedding crisis?" Christina looked to Meredith for an answer. She did nothing but shrug her shoulders.

"I didn't think so. I, on the other hand, need to escape from the land of holy matrimony. If I have another piece of cake, look at another strategy seating map or glance through another catalog of possible honeymoons….I might just put on my running shoes and pull a Julia Roberts."

"Christina, it can not be that bad."

Christina put her hand on Meredith's arm for emphasis, "I swear Mer, Burke could have secretly played 'the dream wedding' with barbies when he was a child. He's completely lost it."

* * *

"Alright people, alright. This is not social hour." 

The interns all stood attentively at the sound of Dr. Bailey's voice.

"Karev, you are with Dr. Montgomery, Yang you are with Burke, Grey is on clinic duty and Stevens….you are with Dr. Sloan today."

It took several seconds to comprehend what Bailey had said. All the other interns went to their respected tasks, but Izzie remained glued to her spot.

"Sloan, really?"

Bailey put her hands on her hip in slight irritation. "Was I speaking Chinese just a minute ago Stevens?"

Izzie shook her head no. "Then yes, you are with Dr. Sloan"

"But…we tried this once and it failed miserably. Why can't I be in the clinic? Meredith and I could switch."

"No. You know the routine Izzie. Besides, Sloan requested you."

Izzie huffed. "Fine. But really Dr. Bailey, we should work on changing that attending-intern request policy…I mean look at what happened with Christina and…"

Bailey put her hand up in an attempt to silence Izzie, "Do not even go there with me this morning Stevens. I have had very little sleep and have very little patience for any whining from my interns today."

Izzie still stared at Dr. Bailey in hopes of changing her mind. She even pulled out the sad, puppy dog eyes.

"GO! Stevens. And I better hear nothing about your behavior or attitude today."

Izzie sighed and walked down the hallway. "Special request policy…can't wait…of course Dr. Sloan…gag."

* * *

It had been hours. Sloan was nowhere to be found. Izzie had spent three hours searching every closet, on-call room and crevice in Seattle Grace. And still there was no Mark. Frustrated beyond belief, Izzie stopped at the nurse's station on the floor she was searching through. As she looked around for one of the nurses on duty, something caught her eye. There were stars, moons, bright colors and stuffed animals all over the place. It hit her. She was on the pediatric floor. Izzie was sure that she was entering a full–blown panic attack as all the visual cues surrounded her, beating her into mental submission.

Hannah was on the pediatric floor. Clearly two days was not sufficient time for Izzie to work through this long-gone, gave away for adoption when I was a teenager, daughter issue that she was currently facing. Especially since she had no one to talk to about it; internalizing the problem was not making it go away. Izzie glanced around quickly, trying to find the stairwell or someplace to hide. She needed to regain her composure.

Running towards the first stairwell she found, Izzie caught wind of the voice. _His _voice to be exact. _What was Sloan doing on the pediatric floor?_ Izzie wondered. She back-tracked her steps and angled herself in a position to see into the patient's room. Izzie had checked the board earlier and was sure that Sloan did not have any patient who would be on this floor. This was making the situation all the more confusing.

She heard a woman's voice.

"Anna, sweetie. You know that these doctors are going to take care of you."

"I'm still scared."

Izzie heard Mark's voice.

"Of course you are, but I promise everything is going to turn out fine, okay?"

The girl Sloan was talking to looked to be about 12 years old. She had curly brown hair, pale skin and some freckles on her cheeks. Izzie thought she was as cute as a button. But she still didn't understand what Sloan was doing there, and definitely was confused when he leaned over and gave the child a kiss on her forehead.

"Will you come back and see me before the surgery?"

"Of course I will. And if you're lucky, I might sneak you in some jello."

"Only the red kind. That's very important."

"Gotcha. Red jello."

Mark looked up at the mother and she smiled. As he got off the edge of the bed, Izzie backed away from the door. He exited the room and as he rounded the corner he nearly toppled over her. They both looked at each other as if they had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Stevens, what are you doing on this floor? There are no surgery patients up here today."

"I could ask you the same question Dr. Sloan"

Mark did not appreciate smartasses and he made this known to Izzie long ago. He stared her down with a frustrated look on his face. Izzie shuffled her feet nervously under his gaze. He relented slightly.

"If you must know, I was asked to come and discuss a few surgical possibilities with a patient and her mother. And you?"

"Dr. Bailey told me I was assigned to your service today. I've been looking for you, for over three hours and I ended up here."

Sloan had seen the error in his ways. Besides, he noticed that Izzie seemed a little shook up. He didn't believe it had all to do with him practically running her over a few minutes ago. Mark knew there had to be something more, but he decided not to push the topic.

"I didn't realize the time. Meet me in my office in twenty minutes."

Izzie was shocked. There were no rude comments, no harassment about her searching skills. This was a different Sloan. It appeared that McSteamy had a little bit of McDreamy inside of him all along. They went there separate ways down the hallway. Izzie thought they really had a breakthrough in their relationship as attending and intern. That was until….

"Oh, Stevens." Mark yelled down the hall.

Izzie turned slightly and saw the smirk emerging on Sloan's face.

"Don't forget my bone-dry cappuccino. Bring it with you when you come to my office."

Izzie groaned. Mark chuckled. Maybe things weren't different after all. But standing in line at the drink stand, Izzie had fifty million thoughts running through her mind. And all of them had to do with two little girls on the pediatric floor.


	3. Chapter 3

disclaimer: see ch 1 & 2

Authors Note: I am in the midst of finals, so I will update when I get the chance. Thanks for the great reviews, makes a girl feel good. Hope you enjoy. PS: not much MarkIzzie in this chapter. This is the first step in learning about Mark's secret.

* * *

Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd had been best friends since childhood. Of course, until Mark screwed up and slept with his wife. Everyone knew the story at the hospital. It had become tabloid fodder as soon as he decided to join the staff. However, only Derek knew another story. A secret, kept hidden from everyone since Mark's days as an intern. But now the secret was here at Seattle Grace. Mark feared the worse.

"You paged me?" Derek stood in the doorway of Sloan's office.

"I need to talk to you. Close the door."

"Mark, I'm really busy today. Talking to you isn't high priority on my list of things to  
do."

Mark sighed in frustration. "It's about Anna, Derek."

Derek stopped in his tracks. "Anna?" He closed the door behind him. "What about her?"

"She's here in Seattle with Melissa."

"I didn't know that they had moved."

"They didn't. Anna had off school for spring break. Melissa decided to bring her here so we could visit."

Derek smiled, "And how is my favorite little girl?"

Mark couldn't help but smile too. "She's good. Not so little anymore."

He continued,"When they came to Seattle, Anna had a slight cold. Turn's out that the little sore throat is tonsillitis."

Derek laughed quietly. "So she's here in the hospital and you don't know what to do?"

"She's here, freaking out upstairs about getting her tonsils removed. Melissa has tried to remain calm, but her little girl is getting surgery for the first time. No mother manages their composure in a situation like that."

Derek nodded his head in agreement.

"And as much as I want to be up there with Anna and hold her hand, I have to keep up appearances. Do my job. I cannot let anyone find out about Anna. But then I told Melissa I would make sure to get the best surgeon for the job."

Derek backed away. "Don't look at me Mark. I am a neurologist, you know that."

Mark waved his hands around in aggravation. "I know, I know. I am thinking of asking Miranda, but then I might have to explain the situation. And then her interns would get involved. Stevens would probably be the intern…."

Derek was confused. "What does Izzie have to do with this? Is there something going on?"

"No, no. It's just… I had her assigned to me today and forgot about it. I was upstairs on the pediatrics floor and that's where she found me. I was coming out of Anna's room and practically ran her over."

"Do you think she suspects anything?"

Mark sat quietly for a few seconds. "I don't think so…but."

"Look, I am not going to tell anyone. Miranda will not tell anyone if you ask. Just do it for your little girl, Mark."

Derek turned and hesitated before exiting the room.

"Hey."

Sloan lifted his head off the desk.

"Seattle is a place to start over. Maybe it isn't such a bad thing to let the secret out. Just think about it."

"Thanks, Derek."

* * *

Izzie walked towards Sloan's office with drink in hand. She noticed that Derek was leaving the room. _That's weird_, she thought. It was well known that Derek and Mark had a very awkward relationship, one that did not normally involve talking. Izzie continued down the hallway and knocked lightly on the door. When she did not hear a response, Izzie pushed the door open. The lights were off and Mark's head was on his desk.

Hesistantly, Izzie whispered, "Dr. Sloan. I brought your coffee."

Mark gave a noise between a grunt and a moan.

"Well, I am going to put it right here. If you need me, I will be in the clinic."

She began to tiptoe out of the room.

"Stevens, wait."

Izzie grimaced at Sloan's command.

"When you go to the clinic, can you tell Dr. Bailey that I need to see here immediately?"

"Is there anything else you need me to tell her?"

"Just tell her that it is urgent."

"Okay."

"Thanks, Stevens."

Izzie left the room and made her way towards the clinic. This day was getting more confusing by the moment.

* * *

Miranda Bailey was focused. She did not enjoy getting involved in the drama of Seattle Grace. This did not mean she was exempt. To the contrary, Miranda was always involved in some way. It's not her fault that her interns can't keep it in their pants. And the attendings, they were just as bad. Currently she was preoccupied with paperwork at the clinic; focused. That was until she saw Izzie Stevens walk through the doors of the clinic.

"Stevens, what are you doing here? I thought I assigned you to Sloan today."

"Dr. Bailey, I am assigned to Sloan. He told me to come get you."

Miranda panicked a little, but then realized who Izzie was talking about.

"What does he need me for Stevens?"

"I honestly don't know. He didn't tell me. He just said it was urgent."

Bailey packed away her paperwork, "Alright. Izzie stay here until I get back. Where is he at?"

"His office."

"Thanks, Stevens."

It took about 15 minutes for Miranda to get to Mark's office. When she opened the door, the lights were off and his head was on his desk. She flicked the lights on and slammed the office door shut.

Mark jumped at the noise. "What the…"

"Don't' finish that statement. We're busy at the clinic today, so I need this to be quick."

"Dr. Bailey, you should probably sit down."

"Does this have something to do with Stevens?"

Mark shook his head in confusion, "Why does everyone assume that my problem has to do with Dr. Stevens."

Miranda took a seat. "Maybe because the last time she was assigned to you, she got special privileges against the chief's wishes. And then you made a special request for her today. Is there something going on?"

Mark groaned. "Wait…I don't even want to know."

"Look, Miranda. I asked you here because I need a favor."

"A favor? What are you talking about Sloan? I don't want anything to do with plastics."

"It's a personal favor, Miranda."

"I don't know if anyone has told you Mark, but I don't like getting involved in the drama in this hospital."

Mark ignored Bailey's apparent frustration.

"I need to tell you something that only one other person knows in this hospital. And then I am going to ask you a favor, and I will hope that you'll say yes."

Bailey saw all the signs of Mark's stress; his body posture, the crinkle in his forehead. She knew that it must be important.

"Okay, but just this one time."

Mark breathed a sigh of relief.

"There is girl on the pediatrics floor. She needs to get her tonsils removed, not a major surgery I know. But I want you to do it Miranda. I promised her mother I would get the best."

Bailey was puzzled. "What aren't you telling me?"

"She's my daughter, Miranda. The little girl is my daughter."


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Sorry that I haven't updated for a long time…it is called life and I somehow got sucked in. I hope to get a spark for writing again, so we will see how it goes. See disclaimer in Chapter 1.

* * *

There were very few things that surprised Miranda Bailey. After this past year with her interns, she thought herself invincible to bombshells. Inside she knew there could quite possibly be a chance to shock her, but Miranda tried to put up a front of nonchalance to everyone on staff. Despite her greatest attempts, there was no way that Bailey could hide herself this time.

"Daughter??" She coughed a little bit. "You have a daughter."

Mark cowered, "I have a daughter."

"But….how….uhhh…hmm…who would want to reproduce with you?"

Miranda knew she had said the wrong thing as soon as she looked at Mark's face. Apparently she hit a little too close to home. Mark got up from his desk and began to pace.

He started to mumble to himself. "This was a bad idea. I knew it was a bad idea. Why the hell would I listen to Derek?"

"Dr. Sloan, I'm sorry; I should not have said anything. That was unprofessional and rude of me."

"No, it's okay Miranda. I know that it is hard to picture me as a father. It's not the first time that's happened." Mark flashed back to Addison.

"I would be willing to perform the surgery. We can work it into my schedule at the clinic."

Mark breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Miranda. That means a lot."

"Of course. Now, if you do not need anything else, I need to get back to the clinic. I left Stevens in charge, which could turn into a disaster."

Bailey got up from the chair. Mark stopped her before she could walk out.

"Actually, there are two more things. One. I figure this is understood, but what I just told you can not leave this room. Two. I want Dr. Stevens to be your intern for the case."

"Dr. Stevens? Why do you want Izzie?"

"I trust her. If she finds out, I trust her not to tell anyone."

Bailey looked at Mark suspiciously, "Are you sure that is the only reason why you want her to be your intern?"

Mark smirked, "Dr. Bailey, don't you think if we were having a 'thing' everyone would already know in this hospital."

Bailey knew she had been defeated at her attempt to be nosy. "Unfortunately, I cannot disagree with you Dr. Sloan."

Miranda made her way back to the clinic. She noticed that Izzie was on the computer and seemed to be deep in thought. She tiptoed up behind her.

"Stevens, what are you doing?"  
Izzie was so freaked that she managed to fall off the chair. Everyone in the clinic turned and stared at her. Izzie was bright red. Fortunately she did not hear anyone laugh, only a cough from Dr. Bailey.

"Get up off the floor Stevens."

Izzie stood up and brushed her pants off. She looked at Dr. Bailey as though she had been busted.

"So what exactly have you been doing while I was gone?"

"I was just checking through our records. I had a few questions, but I found the answers."

"I don't believe you Stevens, but I am going to let it go. You can go back to Dr. Sloan now."

Bailey turned her attention towards the files of patients in the clinic.

"Hey Dr. Bailey, did Sloan seem okay to you?"

"Fine, why?"

"Just curious. I don't want to go back to him if he is in a mood or anything."

"Go Stevens."

Izzie backtracked out of the clinic and up the stairs, trying to make it to Sloan's office quickly. She passed by the pediatrics floor without giving it any notice, but then she backed up. Hannah's parents were in the waiting area. _I should go talk to them_, Izzie thought to herself. _No. No. That's a bad idea._ Izzie couldn't move from the spot in the stairwell. She grabbed the handle hesitantly and walked through the doorway. There was no turning back now.

* * *

The couple screamed "terrified parents", Izzie thought to herself as she hesitantly stepped into the waiting area. _Would they want to talk to her, or even look at her?_ Izzie sucked it up as she managed to stand in front of the whispering pair. As she cleared her throat, they looked up in confusion and fear.

"Are you one of our daughter's doctors?"

Hannah's mom. She was practically perfect in so many ways--great hair, nice clothes, and a loving husband. She was everything that Izzie hoped her daughter would have in a mother. Izzie contemplated running away at that moment, but it seemed that her feet did not want to move.

"I am a doctor, but I am not your daughter's doctor. I am an intern here."

It was clear that Hannah's father was not in the mood for doctor's wasting their time.

"Well…." He squinted at her name tag, "Dr. Stevens is it? What exactly can we help you with?"  
Izzie liked Mom. She feared that Dad was going to be a whole other story.

"12 years ago I got pregnant. I was sixteen, living in a trailer park and dreaming of getting out of that place. I had a baby girl and a loving couple was willing to adopt her. They told me her name was Hannah…." Izzie played with the pockets of her scrubs. When she looked up she saw the realization dawn on Hannah's mom, "I am your daughter's birth mother."

Silence fell upon the trio in the waiting room. At the reception desk, a certain doctor with his own secret discovered another one.

"Well…what do we have here?" he whispered.

His feet began to shuffle in the direction of the couches. He silently stepped behind his favorite blonde intern.

"Dr. Stevens. Just the woman I was looking for."

Izzie turned around hastily. It was coming, she knew it. _Yup, there it goes_. Izzie sprinted to the bathroom.

_There goes her lunch_, Mark thought to himself.


End file.
